You can feel your precious time slipping away the longer you linger on these silly websites, and you realize the best thing you can do is sign out. And so with a great burst of willpower you close every window, rub your eyes, and stumble back into reality -
- and wake up to three pairs of eyes peering at you. There are two people looking quantifiably and qualitatively unamused, respectively, hopelessly caught in a web of thick red tape. Between them, looking much happier, is the oddest dog you've ever seen. Aside from his sheer size, he has the body of an alarm clock which he is winding back up.
"What's going on?" you gasp. "Where am I?"
"You were stuck in the Doldrums, but have managed to break free into the Land of Wisdom!" says the dog. "I'm Tock, the dog assigned to watch over this place. Apologies for taking so long - I could've rescued you sooner if certain people here hadn't wasted so much time bickering! We need your help!"
"I am King Azaz's Rhyme Minister and I came to administer," shouts the qualitatively semantic official. "This... message to a hopeful hero..." he points to an object on the ground that looks like a sealed container with a video disc and paper inside, then points at the other man, growling "then that unnatural divide-by-zero..."
"How dare you, you... declension!" cries the quantifiably hollow-faced official. "I am Count Nullset, and I have no equal in the Mathemagician's realm! I too have a missive," he points to a sealed scroll on the ground, "but then I came upon that asymptote, and, well, you see our predicament!"
The two continue to bicker and the tape seems to engulf them. Tock sighs and points a paw behind you. You can just see the Doldrums exit sign, but the light is broken for some reason. Tock winks as you notice, and continues, "Ever since the Princesses Rhyme and Reason were exiled from the land of Wisdom, everything has been a right mess. Now the King and the Mathemagician have no idea how to un-banish their sisters, and so we all have to live with Wisdom not going to the Watch Dogs!"
That sounds like a problem that only you can set to rights. "How can I bring Rhyme and Reason back to the land?" you ask.
Tock eyes you suspiciously. "The Princesses are imprisoned in the hidden Castle in the Air, which is guarded by demons that are notoriously hard to bedevil. And of course, you need permission from the rulers of the Kingdom of Wisdom to let them return, which those two were supposed to arrange."
The ball of red tape (formerly the Minister and the Count) stops struggling, somewhat sheepishly.
One voice demands, "Bring my leader's note to King Azaz; it shall help him see the errors of his ways."
The other voice states, "That video, no doubt, will help the Mathemagician figure things out."
The royal notes stowed away safely, you turn once more to the ever faithful Watchdog. "Will you lend me a hand, Tock?" you ask.
"Maybe, but I don't have enough time right now!" Tock exclaims, his alarm suddenly ringing. "Perhaps ask the Dodecahedron - he's been a waste of space since the mess began." and he bounds off in a hurry.
Continue on to the Kingdom of Wisdom.